Due to "inadequate" labels and directions, penis enlargement devices are at risk for being taken away at the U.S. border. So, before you pump your penis, be prepared to hand it over to police. The FDA is has gone flaccid from their disappointment:

"Basically, the labeling of these devices falsely states or implies they will treat impotence, prolong erection, and increase the dimensions of the penis," the FDA said in the new notice."

The 501 brand has a history of horniness behind it from lyrics (not surprisingly the same from which Shake Well Before Use got its name) to Levi's commercials. This latest spot is no exception. As Adrants explains: "Levi's celebrates this moment of pre-sex honesty in Secrets and Lies, a commercial from BBH London that reminds us all, it's never too late to set things straight...before things actually get straight and it's too late."

Developed as a "handheld device", a new electronic tongue can taste-test a variety of wines for acidity, sugar and alcohol by using six sensors. Invented by Cecilia Jiménez-Jorquera and others from the Barcelona Institute of Microelectronics, no images can be found yet on the ergonomics of this gadget.

Previously: Artificial mouth could be robotic taste-tester

Just as cringe-worthy as the last edition we wrote about, Porn for New Moms makes us want to stay on the pill. The book features father's and kids with lines like "Damn, you look hot in those sweatpants!", and "Now, remember, it's my turn to do the midnight feeding, so don't get up." While meant to be a cute gift, we're still irked by the stereotype of what women want when it comes to porn.

So, it's no secret to those of you subscribed to Shake Well Before Use that the frequency of posting is not what it used to be. Due to recent exciting announcements, I've been quite busy and it's been difficult to lock into a regular schedule for blogging. Just wanted to make a quick post that I have NO intention of letting this blog die. The frequency may just be lower than the once 2-6 posts a day for a while - so don't turn that dial!

[image via]