High Maintenance Bitch is more than just your ex-girlfriend, though the concept alone may bring similarly annoyed emotions. A luxury pet store is under criticism for its prominent logo, featuring the word Bitch on "at least half" of the outdoor sign. The pooch boutique caters to what it advertises, offering paw nail polish and a sparkly mascara for dogs, dubbed "Whiskara". Hoping to be the Victoria's Secret of bitches everywhere, the store is receiving local complaints, mainly dealing with parents of sheltered children.

"It is going to be a hot issue again when we get to our Wallingford Kiddie Parade and Street Fair," she said. Stillman fears that the sign will ruin family photos of the summer parade."

The owners seem less worried, stating that to take it down is a violation of free speech. Speaking of free, the free publicity alone from the name makes any local battle worth the trouble. Here's hoping that there's a tangent store called Wet Shaved Pussy - what? it's for cat grooming, sheesh.

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Neatorama does its duty in pointing to something truly 'neat'. An interactive gaming table combines arcadia with a tangible tablet. Like a Wii for Pong (or perhaps Ping Pong for Wii), the Pong Table uses embedded LED lights along with touchpads to create the experience. When turned off, the 2500 LEDs are unnoticeable, leaving the table ready for dinner. In addition to the Pong Table, Moritz Waldemeyer created the Roulette Table for gamers who gamble, as well as the Corian Mirror which reflects a pixelated image of the onlooker in real time with 1000 LEDs.

Local news reports on the 'dangerous trend' of emo kids, sadly a decade or so late. With their dark clothes and hair covering one eye, it's best to shield your eyes and ears from their angst-ridden art. Before you know it, there will be emo's everywhere! Serving your fries, pouring your coffee, and even helping you in the dressing room of Urban Outfitters - oh, wait.

Best Week Ever asks, "Is there anything funnier than when the local news attempts to tackle "hip" and "now" issues like "blogs" or "emo" music?"

I'm still waiting on the 'emo bloggers' report - 'It's short for web log. But blogging is a trend that has gone to extremes. Their style is whiny, their look is jaded, they earn points by complaining a lot, more points for acting like they don't care, and they hit the jackpot if they attempt to unsubscribe from RSS feeds.'

Students create Super Mario snowman [BoingBoing]

Frag fabric: crochet Pitfall! and Atari [Craftzine]

Leftover game over [BoingBoing]

iPhone: gaming on the go. On second thought, we'd prefer you stay in your basement [Gadget Lab]

You can run, but you can't hide behind your avatar [Engadget]

Moneyshots are no longer about the money in Britain. Great Britain is now asking that you show your face before you release the need. While money, cum, and a face usually make a delightful party, for many in the UK, it's less than encouraging. A little less than a year ago, the GB stopped allowing anonymous 'users' donate sperm. In the UK, at age 18, a sperm-orphan can track down their biological father. While some men may not mind telling little Annie that daddy really needed to buy a Nintendo Wii and that's why she has so many brothers and sisters, it might make others wince. As a result, Britain has announced that it is at a 'sperm crisis level', with only 169 registered donors in the UK last year. Perhaps they should try tapping into the Spermcube.

Up for grabs and gropes, Valleyway posts its 5 hottest lady vloggers for you to vote on. Violet Blue, Gala Darling, Adriana Gascoigne, Casey McKinnon, and Sara Schaefer make the lineup. While I'm admittedly jealous of not being on any geek girl glamor list, these vlogging vixens deserve it. Though there's much love for Violet Blue and her writing, I do find Casey McKinnon to be supercute as well. However, so far Adriana appears to be cat-fighting her way on top, so hopefully Sara likes being on bottom, otherwise she may need to get her hands free to pull out on top.

With so much up in the air these days, no one is quite sure where the future of air travel, and for that matter, security, will take us. Jet Star (an airline off of Qantas) advertises that the future looks bright. Bikini-wearing and ready, the Japanese are always ahead of us, this time in security-preparation. While it's been rumored for years now that security is going to get so hard that we'll all have to fly naked (or are they getting hard for the anticipation of us flying naked?), it has yet to happen. Worries subsided, Jet Star cares to cater, giving us propaganda-like designs of Japanese girls in bikinis. That's not all, though. Look at the creepy guy on the right - what lucky bastard gets a girl in a miniskirt and boots in addition to a bikini babe all in one glance!? This is obviously false advertising, or possibly 'evidence A'.

A powerhouse of a purse makes its way to the front of the fashion line. The not-so-latest fashion-tech, geek-chic craze is all about accessories. USB ports take out the terror of "one size fits all" labels by switching you from charging credit cards to charging gadgets. Though not actually Prada, it may not be too long before high fashion predicts green for next year's color. The Solarjo Power Purse (not sure if we should forgive the awful web design and photography for a good cause? - but c'mon, this has been out since 2005) will run you less than $300, but it'll be worth every penny to turn your nose up to your leather-bound, car-less friends as you pop into your hybrid SUV.

Apparently reflecting on the 'life and times' of Anna Nicole, Hugh Hefner wants to follow suit by marrying some young blond beaut (in all fairness, she's more of a beaut than ANS). Holly Madison may be the cosmetically-blushing bride, as it's rumored that out of the two other girlfriends that Hugh keeps around, she's the keeper.

"Hef has decided he will marry Holly, and he wants it for his show, 'The Girls Next Door.' Hef thinks business all the time, and looks for a new hook, although he also does really love Holly... Hef sees that she is the most dedicated. Kendra is never there, and they both hate each other, and Bridget is hanging on by being very friendly to Holly."

Tsk, tsk, Kendra, you should really be there for your boyfriend who's always there for everyone else. And Bridget, nice girls finish last no matter how orally skilled your partner may be.

The Superficial says, "[Holly] gets to marry a guy who's just, what, barely in his 120's? And has two other girlfriends? And looks like E.T.? It's like every little girl's dream come true. They should write fairy tales about her life."

Overridden with RPGers, Second Life is coming under more threats than just the criticism of bloggers. Last week, a "basement- home-grown" virtual terrorism group bombed an American Apparel and Reebok store. Apparently run by a herd of high school goth kids, the v-terro-squad wants more choices in the cafeteria menu for their hard-not-earned lunch money. The 'Second Life Liberation Army' (aka the emo goth kids) were interviewed as saying "the population of the world should have a say in the running of the world." Sorry kids, but no matter how many lives you create, it won't make anyone think you're any less of a chump. Better luck with reincarnation.

New words are buzzing around the blogosphere lately. Blogging tends to build bemes (a blog meme, for the unhip and unaware) as well as fat over time. As such, Jason Calcanis intertwined the concepts to create fatblogging. What is fatblogging? While ideally it would be the liveblogging of oral indulgence, it's actually the opposite. Perhaps experiencing some jealously over Wii-Weight-Loss Experiment, bloggers join up and document their weight-loss and exercise each day as well as share thoughts and tips. The lovely Joseph Jaffe and Hugh Macleod have already signed up, so if Hugh's sketches become a little more angry and Jaffe's blog slows down even more, don't be alarmed. If you care to burn off that blogger backfat of yours, Jason invites you to work up a sweat and be part of the movement.

It could be lights out for Google across the world. While Google is not actually going under anytime soon, Treehugger reports on an interesting find that tags Google as an energy opportunity.

"Did you know that a cathode ray tube (CRT) monitor uses about 74 watts to display an all white web page, but only uses 59 watts to display an all black page? Worldwide, about 25 percent of the monitors currently in use are cathode ray tubes, which means that they waste energy displaying white backgrounds. This can add up for sites with a global audience."

Treehugger claims that by turning Google black, they would save 750-megawatt-hours ($75,000) a year. Called low-wattage web design, it may have to have its own set of design rules, as white text on a black background is never recommended for extensive reading. Perhaps there's a happy medium for designing for a monitor as well as a person's vision. However, the big question is, once Google goes black, will it ever go back?

Kathy Sierra talks about how most companies are never in the mood, leaving you to finish yourself off in the shower. She references the secret to any good marriage is to not change, stating that passionate, sex-craving and caring person shouldn't become the bored, bothered, and overly-serious.

"I don't understand this in personal relationships, and I don't understand it in business-to-customer relationships. Shouldn't you treat the people you're in a relationship with better than you treat anyone else? Shouldn't you treat your existing customers better than the ones who've given you nothing?"

Kathy points to examples, including the amount of effort that is put into making great designs for brochures and the lack of care put into product manuals. While information design is certainly not the same as designing a poster, the gap does not need to be as big of a leap as it currently is. Companies need to come join us in the shower. It'll be a delightful surprise that both parties will be sure to appreciate, as we can offer to scrub off those old skin cells and shame.

Hair is typically one of the first things someone notices about you. While not referencing your fauxhawk or mullet, hair that is actually unwanted is just as bad as hair that's unglamorous. For women, unwanted hair is an unfortunate fact of life kept under the rug and in pinky-swears across salons. Tweezed, shaved, waxed, and tortured, like James Bond, we're good at keeping sensitive secrets. It's no wonder then that a new form of hair removal comes in an unorthodox manner. Perhaps the latest 'gadget' from Q, spearmint tea has been tied to anti-follicular action. By drinking two cups of spearmint tea a day, it reduces the production of testosterone and increases feminine hormones, which in turn can cut back on your unsightly self.

Candy bar concepts.

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You fluffed up and feathered for tomorrow?

Brussels Airlines has been forced to change their logo due to paranoid passengers counting 13 "unlucky" dots that make up the mark.

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Sidenote: A temporarily failed hard drive is to blame for the lack of posts today. In the process of getting it back up and running!

While Engadget reports that these audio audacities are not related to the up and coming Transformer movie, they're just as geek-chic. With blurry photos, Asian characters, and gradient backgrounds these beauts are bringing it old school, just the way wii we like. At $37 a pop, the makers should at least be in talks with the likes of BK/McD's since the only thing they've been starving kids of lately are some decent like-the-80's-used-to-make kid's meal toys. While some may claim that the Frenzy & Rumble Earphones demise the would-be geek-glamor buzzing around the Transformers movie, there's plenty transforming pitched-tents that disagree.

Continuing the interweb snickering for those in-the-know, Sean Hubbard adds to the existing 'web' of common experiences. As seen last month in various image-stricken pockets of New York, the broken-image icon is now making a debut on stamps, or at least that's the hope. Inspired by the urbanscaping, Hubbard went DIY, creating stickers for the icon and eventually moving them to his mail. It's a shame that this comes after Valentine's Day, as I'm sure this could've generated a few VDay 2.0 e-cards between fellow interwebers.

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It may not the latest on the runway, but it's the hot fashion item for summer. Made to coordinate with your natural bare skin, Axe's "wrap-around" towels are to be the envy of locker room chumps. While Coolz0r is uncertain of any man who would actually try to get the angling right, it's sure to end up as a fratboy present of sorts. Also, though it may be flattering to some body types, one has to think that if you've let a few beers go over the holidays that people are only going to assume you're with one equally wide-assed, chicken-legged ladyfriend. Does this towel make my ass look big? No, but it makes your dick look small.

Eating contests usually conjur up memories of not-so-cute images, or for some, a toilet. Breaking the barf-barrier usually associated with eating contests, Conneticut hosts a Vegan Cupcake Eating Contest. Making their appearance on March 24, the vegans who spent so much precious time taking care of their bodies can now put it all to shame. It's like giving Valentine's chocolates to single girls. At least their puke will be decorated with candy hearts on the way out. The event is to celebrate the launch of a new vegan cupcake recipe book. A few samples can be found here and here.

Grilled cheese has always been a cheap favorite. Where can you go wrong with bread and cheese? While it may seem difficult to screw up, The 4th 2nd Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational is prepared to make you compete for your I-screwed-up-the-least bragging title. Telling by the music on their website, the Invitational likes to lay the cheese on thick: "While anyone is welcome to sign up and compete, only the few, the proud, the winners will be able to raise their cheese and butter speckled fists to the angry sky above and scream: “I am a Fucking Grilled Cheese Champion™!” Laughing Squid tells us it's too late to "register your sammich" but they're still taking applicants for oral judges. And, just in case, there will be a cash bar there, too. I won't be in Los Angeles for the event, but I do have an awkward yet delicious habit of ordering grilled cheese and a martini on an almost-weekly basis. Here's to awkward-pleasures.

While fetishes among people are sometimes derived from childhood fears, fetishes among pets may be following in step. This YouTube video recently surfaced involving a cat that receives (and asks for) a spanking. You'd have to wonder if he/she gets into the trash on purpose. Though the video is cute, who is taking more pleasure from the spanking? Here's hoping the owner isn't letting out frustrations of having a timid girlfriend.

A recent study that is sure to entertain the likes of Steve Hall and numerous men across the world found that ogling breasts actually has health benefits. To be more specific, men who look at breasts and beautiful faces can extend their life by 4-5 years. Apparently, peeking for 10 minutes a day is equivalent to spending 30 minutes at the gym. This fact comes as no shocker, given the many physical "reactions" men experience when confronted with a wet shirt or a cold day at the office.

"There is no question that gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life 4 to 5 years." She added that sexy stars like Dolly Parton, Heather Locklear, Anna Nicole Smith and Demi Moore had proved to be especially good for the men's health."

Many men may die early if they don't find a replacement for one of the ladies quickly. The report goes on to explain the siren-nature of a beautiful woman:

"A beautiful woman's face is like chocolate, cash or cocaine to a young man's brain, according to Harvard University researchers. Their brain-imaging study revealed that while young heterosexual males are indeed capable of finding beauty in another man's face, only a lovely female visage can set off the "reward centres" in their brains."

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While many articles are reporting calorie chaos for Wii-fans, one user hopes to rain on everyone's parade. Offering calorie consumption, the chocolate Wii controller helps re-gain those precious calories you may have lost. Following suit with so many other geek-sweets, the white (wiite?) chocolate remotes were made from the original packing. After a few tiring sessions of Warioware, what better to quench your thirst than a man-handled sweaty chunk of chocolate? Though, your roommate may want to know how a lump of chocolate broke their tv.

Sick and tired of, well, pretty much everything at this point, Britney Spears continues her delightful, sunshine and rainbow filled escapade around society. A recent rumor uncovers that Britney may have signed up for a MySpace page all on her very little own. Claiming to want to get away from her record company and including a typo here or there, something other than her upskirt smells fishy. Nevertheless, the idea, whether or not true, of celebrities wanting to maintain transparency is an interesting debate. Often in advertising and Web 2.0, we fight for companies and campaigns to be transparent. However, many of us gloss over the fact that celebs are perhaps some of the worst at maintaining transparency. While probably for a lot of good, rational reasons, you have to ask, has the lack of transparency with celebs gone too far? Would the benefits of being transparent outweigh the consequences?

Sneaux shoes, known for the few tv spots featuring Jackass's Steve-O, has created a new spot for their reel. Cutting through all the film-of-me-skateboarding crap that has existed for decades, the stop-motion spectacle is called "Human Skateboard" for obvious reasons. The video was directed by PES, a self-proclaimed "twisted film" site. This might not be what Microsoft was intending when they launched their "people ready" campaign last year, but it certainly makes for a better ad than they've yet to make.

Though Playboy might be known for coming on the scene with new positions, they seem to be far behind on some of the most obvious. Like asking if we've heard of the reverse-cowgirl, Playboy launched a mobile marketing strategy. The "strategy" offers softcore previews of their Double Entry reality show. Strategy may be a fickle word choice as, really, how much strategy does phone porn take? Playboy attempts to be flexible by allowing users to download videos or photos, depending on their device's capabilities. Perhaps enticing to some, phone sex seemingly has yet to truly reach its full climax potential.

Needing a cigarette after it yet again won't leave the bedroom without one more go around, Motorola insists on hearing our delight. After the short-lived hard-on went flacid with the RAZR a few years ago, Moto has been on a quest to regain it's Mojo. Not to be mistaken with a pack of birth control, the Motorola T815 is a smartphone-based gps/navigation system. Dubbed MotoNav, the device talks dirty to you with turn-by-turn directions to help get you going. Hoping to be your everything, MotoNav also features bluetooth, local search, a car and phone charger, and is of course USB-compatible. Set to launch in Q2 of 2007, Motorola hopes to build your anticipation.

The Qantas flight attendant who was recently fired over a mile-high-club-fling with actor Ralph Fiennes, a passenger at the time, tells all in a recent interview with The Mail. While her tale may remain a faraway fantasy for some, she details the exhilaration of being in a surreal scene like out of a movie.

"When I told him I was going for a break, he said, "I might come and visit you for a chat, if that's OK." I was a bit surprised, but also thrilled. I said, "Sure."' ... It was 11pm and most of the other passengers were asleep. ... By this point they were sitting so close their faces were just inches apart. Lisa said: 'He held my hands. Then he started kissing me. The kissing was very passionate and his hands were all over me. I just melted. 'He was caressing my neck, holding my head and he started undoing the buttons on my dress. The way he was going, he would have made love to me right there. But I was afraid my supervisor might pull back the curtain and catch us. Eventually, I couldn't bear it any longer. I just grabbed his hand and said, "Come in here a minute." 'By this time, we had half our clothes off and I didn't care about anything. I led him into the cabin lavatory next to where we had been sitting and locked the door. 'Ralph was a great lover. And I thought if I was going to get the sack, it would be worth it. I knew it was against the rules and wrong but I didn't care."

Cheers to that and thanks for managing to get us all hot and bothered just by reading an interview. Any of us would agree that if you're going to go out, go out in style. And what better way to get sacked than having a movie star in the sack.

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Doc Searls points to a useful tool for the curious and inquisitive types on-the-go. FlightAware claims to be the first company to offer free flight tracking services for both private and commercial air traffic in the United States. Delayed by only six minutes, which is a luxury these days, the data pulls in the current paths of airborn aircrafts. Offering a variety of data points and maps, FlightAware also offers mobile weather and route analysis services for pilots and passengers alike. While charmingly convenient, beware of lying to crafty spouses about delays and cancellations.

Oh sure, it's geeky and cute, and will probably have the same fate as those 'pretty' candles your mother refuses to actually light. But the Art Lebedev eraser intends to leave Mac users in it's rubber dust. A capital D on the delete? Please, we Powerbook professionals are far too busy to have uppercase letters on our keys. A far more humorous choice would be the Apple-only mute symbol.

While always a fan of feminine pleasure, something tells us that the Japanese have made 'take out' a bit more scary than just an overdose of MSG. A new fad at a Japanese restaurant diverts away from the so-last-year trend of eating sushi off a sexy, naked woman's body (yum!), by of course, fake augmentation. Replacing the old trend, a fake body sculpted out of food rests on the table, just asking to be eaten out. While a friend may describe the thought to be as gross as going down on a girl with a yeast infection, the Japanese intend it to be even more horrific. By opening up a piece of bleeding skin, you are then supposed to eat the insides. Perhaps we'll just stick to the spring rolls.

Plastic proves to be pleasurable beyond double-D's. Shouting to Hear the Echoes puts out, providing a poll to vote on the sexiest gynoid. A gynoid is a robot designed after a human female. While Femmebots were the first out on the catwalk, a new season has brought a new line. Asking "Which modern-day Gynoid would you most love to spend a dirty week-end with?", the poll provides choices from eight ready-for-you robots. Hopefully bug-free, there shouldn't be any accidental 1's typed in the middle of her exclaimed orgasm. That would just be embarassing.

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While gaming can certainly be an addictive sport, a recent murder revealed an addiction that went off the deep end.

"A university student under arrest for trying to withdraw money from the account of a man found dead last month, along with his mother, has admitted to their murder and robbery, police said. “I spent the money at video game arcades. I murdered them so I could steal some money,” the suspect, 21-year-old Hiroshi Shimura, was quoted as telling investigators."

This may be a case study for parents who view video gaming as a negative activity. However, if anything this morbid news will work in favor of kids desperately trying to negotiate with their parents. "You see, withhold my allowance for video games, and I'll lose my shit!".

Sweet ride.

Violet Blue should have someone other than the SF Chronicles to battle over biased anti-porn slanting this week. Pulling a Ted Haggard, Joel Johnson of Gizmodo takes out the whip and chain on gadget whoring.

"These guys want me to write a weekly column, but I hate consumer electronics, I hate marketing, and I hate you people, because you're all so dumb. If you're lucky and I need the money, I will. I gave up two years of my life writing about gadgets for this site. Waking up every morning at 5 AM, chewing up press releases to find the rare morsel of legitimate information, chasing down "hot tips" that ended up being photochops of iPods with reflections of genitals in the touchscreens."

Taking it from behind the computer screen, Joel puts his finger in our face to smell. Despite the fact that he is/"was" a gadget whore, is being paid by gadget whores, and frankly wouldn't be around unless there were gadgets to feed him and Gizmodo in the first place, he now denounces the techsluts. Oh Joel, honey, we may be easy, but trying your new position in the bedroom in hopes of bringing back the flame may just be too little, too, and well, little, if you know what we're saying. My personal response? Shut up and blog.

Sidenote: In the spirit of whoring, buy a tshirt I made for the cause.

Making joystick puns too easy, Bonnie Ruberg attempts to talk about sex weekly on Joystiq. This week's 'Playing Dirty' column goes for the easy bait, asking if sex is a game.

"Our culture trains us to think of sex as something romantic and meaningful, as "making love.""

Apparently a few power pellets short of a blue ghost, the culture in question may be mistaken as your parents' basement. Gamers may be stereotypically sheltered, but it's pretty safe to assume that when they search for sex inbetween 1up's and frags, that love-making doesn't rank high on Google.

"Sex definitely exists outside the flow of ordinary life. Even if it's an everyday thing for you, it has its own separate space, both literally (the home, the bedroom, the bed itself) and in terms of frame of mind."

Somehow I'm left with a bad Carrie-Bradshaw-wannabe taste in my mouth. To assume that sex is separate or outside the flow of ordinary life is, for lack of a more compelling word, a sad view. Sex isn't a separate connection in our brain, nor should it ever be regulated to happening within the confines of just "the home, bedroom, and bed". Sex is as mobile as a PSP, please don't treat it like an Alienware desktop.

a href="http://www.shakewellbeforeuse.com/images/aquapets.jpg">Apparently receiving a late memo to their position on the naughty list, Alabama upheld a statute banning the commercial distribution of sex toys.

"According to the statute, it is 'unlawful for any person to knowingly distribute any obscene material or any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs."

The notice came just in time to remind us that the holiday spirit of toys under the tree and in bedroom drawers has subsided. While the gadgety-goodness may no longer be an option, there's always a story every year about how the kids today don't appreciate old school toys. Perhaps Make: will provide some creative hand-crafted solutions.

Telling us what we already know, a new study says it's healthy to tease ourselves. However, before you dive into your one-handed-typing segway, it's not the kind of tease you get from Girls Gone Wild at 4am on a Tuesday. The study, conducted by the University of Hertfordshire in England, concerned the affects dieting takes on perceptions and emotions.

"Researchers ... showed women pictures of chocolate or magazine ads of nonfood items. Those who had previously dieted or were on a diet had greater feelings of guilt about chocolate ... These negative emotions, in turn, could lead to cravings for chocolate".

Being good has always been a tease. Get hot for health by orally pleasuring yourself in addition to your daily exercise routine to help fight off cravings and carbs.

Cigar-sucking and champagne-holding, two vixens laced the front page of Gawker yesterday. Posting their February pin-ups, the gossip-mongers sent over a photographer to capture the feminist-fatales. The lovely spread features a sex columnist coupled with a blogger/novelist. As the pictures can attest, the curvaceous lines between those roles can easily be blurred.

Needing a change of scenery, or perhaps a fresh start to the post-VDay-letdown, a new type of clothing lets all eyes be on you. Breaking through the monochrome winter weather, Fabcell created the Fabcell system, consisting of color-changing modules to brighten up your outer-shell of baggage. The fabric uses flexible, color-changing textiles coupled with a controller for precision emo-matching visuals. Perhaps positioning itself as the mood ring for emo hipsters, the clothing is also able to respond to your body temperature, giving you a new, shrinkage-proof solution to changing in public.

Feeling a lack of love lately, bowlers around the world may be hitting the lanes to help compensate. While three strikes probably won't be the only XXX's they see across a screen tonight, a new game is hoping to give some love back to the lanes.

Made for the Nintendo Wii, Brunswick Pro Bowling wants to "give gamers a detailed, realistic bowling-center experience, complete with authentic sights and sounds, and official Brunswick bowling gear. Brunswick Pro Bowling will be highly customizable, allowing players to choose everything from their character’s appearance and accessories to ball styles."

Paired with realistic physics, your balls will have a weight and movement you can feel. True guttersluts prefer 3 fingers deep inside, but some pros may tell you that you can get the job done with just the tips.

Making headway into the digital age, drugs continue to infiltrate youth culture. Creating the Designer Drug 2.0 for the strung out and social, laptops are soon to be more addictive than a bluetooth headset to a chump. Synced up and snorted, WinFun has created a laptop that is meant to attract your sense of smell. Wanting to hook 'em while they're young, the Smell-O-Vision was designed for kids. Figuring they're already inhaling and eating enough glue and various art supplies as is, really, where's the harm in just another hit or two? The Sweet Berry Bilingual Laptop smells like strawberries and cooties. While it claims to be bilingual, something tells us that the Sweet Belly Biringuar Raptop wasn't intended for Japan.

Everyone needs a "release" every now and again, and I think we can all say that we learned something new about Steve Hall, the appointed guest blogger, this week. Here's a towel, go get yourself cleaned up.

Skipping the "and" in art, advertising, sex + technology, Steve defied grammar (and surely your expectations) to create a temporary simpler description. I would say sexier, though Steve may not yet understand the art of desire, leaving little of it. Either way, there's always some pleasure to be derived from not holding back.

This is an old ad but an interesting one. With barely legal curiosity and longing, the young girl in this ad dreams of the day when a very large Durex condom will come between her and the ripped prince's burgeoning bulge her eyes wistfully yearn. With the headline, "One day you'll wish you had a Durex condom," the ad hearkens early innocence and an "I wonder what that would feel like" eagerness only experienced early in life.

Some might label the ad overly racy or a poor attempt at humor but they would be wrong. The ad is extremely honest conveying natural human desire and sexuality which, all too often, are portrayed with snickers, avoidance and censorship.

Amy was one of those extremely cute high school girls who was irresistible yet agonizingly out of reach to the "regular" guys in the crowd. You know the type. So beautiful that you get an upset stomach when you get close to her. A good upset stomach. But an upset stomach of the kind never felt if you are over the age of 18. It was a feeling of exclusion. Exclusion form the pretty girl club. A fear that a girl that beautiful could never have a second thought for any guy not on the proverbial football team. Interestingly, after years of feeling this exclusion, I find out she was just as scared as all the the guys and always wondered why the guys were scared of her. So a side note to current high schoolers.... that feeling does feel like a big deal because it is but don't let it make you retreat into the world of shyness. Just ask. If you never ask you will never know. And know this. The person you want to ask is as scared as you are. So just ask. OK...enough of the lecture.

I was actually friendly with Amy as she was in a lot of my classes but never more then that. Of, course, I wanted more but was too chicken to ask her out or talk to her about anything beyond dull schoolwork talk. See above advice.

So as usual in a suburb like Concord MA, us kids were thrust into all sorts of extracurricular activities such as sports, church stuff, and...yes...yes, dance class. I guess our parents thought it crucial that we learn things like the fox trot and the waltz so we could dance fancy at weddings.

So we have this class. The guys sit on one side, the girls on the other. When the instructor calls for a dance, you have to choose your girl based on the order in which you sit. So you pray to God that you don't get the fat wallflower or some girl you have just broken up with for some stupid high school reason. You stand in front of this girl with your heart pounding either because the girl is hideous or you are dying to have sex with her. Either way, that last thing on your mind is dancing.

Read the rest of the story here.

Here's a Russian vodka commercial that releases all that pent up, iron curtain crap the country had to endure for so long. Like a 16 year old kid returning from a week spent on vacation with the family to the privacy of his own room to urgently release thats week's "build up," Russian marketers are undergoing a release of their own. In this commercial for Kreslova vodka, a lonely Russian man's imagination drifts to the pleasures of beautiful woman clad in nothing more than tiny thongs and cleavage-enhancing lingerie. And it's all the vodka's fault. Damn. Where can I get some of that imagination-enhancing vodka here in the states?

It's bigger. It's better. It's voyeuristic. There's no harness. It's smoother. There's more to touch. There's less crying. There's no waiting to get in. It pumps you up. It can never be too big. It's more satisfying. No, you perverts, I'm sharing with you that second time I hooked up with that cute freshman red head in the back of the parent's station wagon. It's Comic Con, silly. More precisely, a video that expresses just how much more fun it is to go to the comic book convention Comic Con a second time. And yea, it's the well-worn "let's make it seem like we're talking about sex but not" approach but it still works. Maybe that's because the topic of sex never gets tired. Oh wait. Maybe that's just me. Sorry. Pardon the interruption. On with your work day

Living up to the (mostly false) accusation that all I write about are curvaceous women promoting stuff, I give you this video which promotes the book, The Muscly Jerk Guide: Workout & Nutrition Plans, that promises guys, "Now you can build a physique that drives beautiful women crazy & take control of your sex life in only 12 weeks!" Back in November a guy wrote the book and recently released the video, called Hot Girls Answer Every Guy's Question, which asks what woman want in a guy. Of course, all they want are big muscles but what else would they say in a video promoting a book that promises to build a muscular physique in 12 weeks? The video has climbed to the number nine spot on the video tracking site, VidMeter. Call it shallow but there's nothing wrong with a six pack and the adoration that six pack brings.

While The Silly Girl is away in sunny San Diego having more fun than we'll ever know about, she's asked me to have some fun here for a few days. Normally, I write about advertising over at Adrants and maybe that's what I'll write about here too but the temptation to write freely about whatever I want might shift things a bit.

Shake Well Before Use is about art, advertising, sex and technology. Two of those things I really like. One trumps all others. Can you guess which one? There. I knew you could. So let's get on with it. Since Flickr made its debut, we've all had the pleasure of getting down with just about every possible genre of photography in existence. We've also had the pleasure of getting up thanks to the dedication of many who love to troll Flicker and other sites like Webshots for pictures of the hottest women in the world. I figured I highlight a few for your enjoyment.

One of my favorites is Chickenbreasts which digs into the juicy curvaceousness of the female form.There's a website but it's more fun, as it is with all these sites, to just subscribe to the RSS feed and get an endless supply of eye candy delivered continuously to your newsreader. The aptly titled Flickrbabes is more artistic in its approach to female appreciation and rarely includes nudity and falls squarely into the artistic category.

For those who appreciate the more top-heavy figure, there's BustyWebshots, a site devoted exclusively to trolling WebShots for big breasted female. There's no nudity but these ladies are so big they don't need to take their clothes for you to see what they've got underneath.

There's a guy on Flicker that goes by the name of Hardley Surton is is masterful and finding Internet beauty. The quantity and quality is impressive. And let's not forget about old-school forum style picture sharing brought to us by Tits in Tops. Oh, and if freakishly huge Asian women are your thing, Fuko is the girls for you.

OK, I'm finished being creepy. going back to advertising now.

As mentioned earlier, I'm currently soaking up the sun in lovely San Diego for a few days. But fear not, disappointment should only be kept to your bedroom, not blogs.

As such, I've invited Steve Hall of Adrants (you may remember him from such hits as 'Agency.com has Hipster Orgasm on YouTube' and 'Bouncing Thong-Clad Beauties Spank For Biker Insurance') to be a guest blogger for a couple days. Besides being the main power force behind one of the industry's largest publications, he's also the one who convinced me to start blogging. So, without further ado, I'll let him do what he does best. I've given him free reign and no censorship, so NSFW-softies be warned.

The reverse upskirt, while not a version of the 'reverse cowgirl', still an equally 'intriguing' new trend.

Password protected panties.

Sidenote: I'm on a jetplane to San Diego today. Keep your eyes and ears to the RSS feed, as there may or may not be a guest blogger for your insatiable pleasure soon. Mystery keeps you coming back for more, no?

Guilty pleasures and passions take out teases and live for lust. Mixing business with pleasure, a Parisian fashion designer by the name of Gaspard Yurkievich created the death-by-design 'Cream Passionel'.

"...a fifteen-euro affair that features dark chocolate mousse on chocolate cherry-flavored dough with ginger raspberry coulis, and topped with the gold-dusted initial of creator Gaspard Yurkievich."

The designer describes his creation as fetishistic, feminine, and frivolous; all 'délicieusement désuet' descriptions. While his name is not quite something that rolls off the tongue in a sexy, seductive way, he aims for your oral pleasure in alternative manners.

While Cool Hunting warns of disasterous downfalls that can come with precariously placing your laptop in the kitchen, we don't look nearly as geek-chic without it. Thankfully, a student at the University of Applied Sciences identified the dilemma. Offering up a new shiny gadget to replace the old dulling titanium, the 'coo.boo' is a digital cookbook that's too kool for k's. Still in prototype stages, the spatula design syncs up with your computer to deliver recipes with optional audio/visual assistance. Like your other 'precarious devices', the coo.boo aims to be dishwasher safe.

DTACK doesn't beat around the bush, does however, beat around the brow and breasts. A recent campaign for the 'adhesive tape' (as opposed to non-adhesive tape?) takes leaps and bounds to play in the NSFW space as politely Photoshopped (and respectfully starburts-ed) out for you nervous types. The original comedy/tragedy nipples can be found here.

Amsterdam (the same area as reported earlier this week as allowing naked exercising) is paying tribute to prostitutes everywhere in the only way they know how: a massive erection. Reportedly, the home of the Red Light District is erecting a statue for the town whore, sans proverbial sidenotes. Mariska Majoor, well known (though, not best known) for starting a center for prostitution ten years ago had requested the statue.

"The statue represents a self-assured woman, her hands on her hips, looking sideways towards the sky, and standing on a doorstep, ANP said. The precise place where the statue will be laid ... have not yet been announced".

It's always quaint when the AF press gets to use the puns they've been waiting on for years.

A hospital in Liverpool has a high demand for fake breasts. They're asking for donations towards fifty fakies, which may be a tall glass to fill. Surprisingly silicon is not on the menu. Au contraire, they're requesting hand-fondledcrafted boobs that have only been poked at by needles. Yes, knitted fakies have become all the rage for teaching new babes how to breastfeed.

"Kate McFadden, the hospital's infant feeding co-ordinator, has already knitted several and has called in the services of her mother, a keen knitter. The breasts are produced in a variety of skin shades."

The hospital continues to ask for more naughty knitters to pitch in. Give it a week before Orange County comes to fend-for-the-fakes.

Design Within Reach, often colloquially referred to Design Out of Reach to the financially-challenged, holds a Champagne Chair Award contest each year. The challenge is to create the most design-savvy miniature chair out of the contents of discarded champagne elements, such as the cork, foil, etc. (essentially anything but the bottle itself). While it's too late to prove your craftiness for this year, voting is currently up for the finalists (as Josh Spear notes, voting ends Friday at 5pm and you can only vote once). You can also view the few others who didn't make the cut. The winner will receive $500 towards the purchase of a napkin holder from DWR as well as a feature in their studio tour (sans robotic Todd-Oldham-like hosts).

A recent study has mapped out the way in which our minds respond to advertising. Surprisingly, what you think you think, you don't. Confused? Give this a minute. An applied research company (FKF) and brain mapping center at UCLA set out to "measure the effect of many of the Super Bowl ads by using fMRI technology". In addition, they mapped out "general" advertising, such as team logos, etc. (Consumerist says, "And we all know how rational we are about loyalty to sports teams. Ahem, Chicago Cubs?"). Both of these visual stimulants reside in the same area of our brain.

Apparently, answers given in focus groups are not accurate to what people actually think and feel. While that fact may come as no surprise (focus groups are always a bit forced), the clincher is that we believe we make educated and rational everyday choices, but in actuality we don't. How does advertising fit into this equation? Advertisers pray on our actual illogical choices, but convince us that we're correct in believing we're making educated and rational ones.

While the majority of fashion-technology hybrids look best with a pair of glowsticks and various blips and bleeps playing in the background, a new collection throws science into the mix to produce some interesting results. Nano-Tex, a Califonia start-up, aims to marry style with sports. Using high-concept chemistry and fabric-enhancing technologies, various fashion-defying clothing has been created. These creations include soup-resistant ties, no-sweat shirts, "like botox for clothes" anti-wrinkle, liquid endurance, "wear 'em again pants", and anti-static fleece.

"Clothing designers are tiptoeing toward a new trend: high-tech apparel with a low geek-factor."

Something about videotaping a man drinking liquid out of his shirt pocket with a straw and just the use of "wear 'em again pants" makes you wonder if that "low geek-factor" is similar to "low fat cheesecake".

[via]

Ladies, not satisfied between the sheets but holding out that he'll come through on Valentine's Day? Don't let your dissatisfaction simmer for too long, for White Castle could give you a night you wish you wouldn't remember for years to come. Ah yes, the mighty White Castle doesn't want to be left out anymore than the whiney single girl who ironically refuses to shut up.

"Make your Valentine’s day STEAMY! Take your Valentine to White Castle on Wednesday, February 14 between 5 and 8 p.m. and enjoy hostess seating, candlelit dining and your own server. Reservations are required, so check the list below for participating Castles near you! Special this year, you can also treat your honey to a romantic White Castle dinner in your home! Cupid’s Crave Kits include eight cheeseburgers, one sack of fries, two regular soft drinks, coupons and keepsake items to heat up your homespun romance. Now, ain’t that sweet?"

Mini cheeseburgers come in mini packages, and don't think there's a 'big one' waiting for you under the tree. It's fairly safe to say that any man who treats you to White Castle on Valentine's Day should lose any mini-hope you had left for him.

Minimalism , while held up as a 'purity' in design, also raises many criticisms. One could assume with such high standards, minimalism is in fact harder to be successful in than any other pre-derterminded style standard. A teacher of mine once said that the closer you get to perfection, the more things you find wrong. An example being making a sphere out of any material - if it's completely lopsided, it's easy to critique and move on, however, if it's almost completed, you're able to point out every imperfection in depth and presentation.

Gridskipper points to a recent work in minimalism that begs for criticism. The LIM Hair Clinic in Tokyo consists of the "bleakest aesthetic horizon line", containing a chair, an unmounted mirror, and 4 walls of white paint. Wonder if they used eggshell or lamb's wool white?

There are great perks that come with living alone. The main one? Having free reign over cooking, eating, and relaxing in the nude. While being lazy does wonders for stress, it doesn't, however, do any wonders for your figure. Keen to the comfort of nudity, a gym in the Netherlands has begun 'Naked Sunday', a weekly open door policy on birthday suits and awkwardness.

"I heard that some other gyms are offering courses on 'pole-dancing' as a sport, so I thought: Why not bring something new to the market?" Patrick de Man, the owner of Fitworld gym, said.

This may just be the motivation you need to get in shape. Those guilt trip commercials that pray on your shame and New Year's reolutions never worked. At the very least, you can expect that getting 'up' and off the couch to go exercise will be easier. Though, with motivating so many newbies unaccustomed to a "work out" (in either sense), perhaps they'll do some erection damage control.

[via]

Best Week Ever points to the recent Super Bowl ad for Snickers, calling it out on account of irresponsibly using a brand to support homophobia. The ad involves two mechanics sharing a Snickers by mouth due to dirty hands and accidentally lip-locking. As such, they instantly propose to do something "manly" and pull out their chest hair to make-up for the queerness. However, Snickers had also set up a site with "disgusted audience reactions" and alternate endings to the manly-endings, including drinking poison and beating each other up. Not surprisingly, especially with all the outcries of what's "appropriate" to show during the uber-testosterone-fondlefumble-fest, there are already complaints forming. Perhaps Snickers listened or was hacked, for as of now, the site simply redirects to the regular Snickers homepage.

As if road-head wasn't distracting enough, the Sun Visor Theatre offers even more of an entertainment value. With 7 inches of pure pleasure, the DVD, CD, and MP3 -playing device is fitted into the passenger-side visor with precision. For those who like to photo-document roadtrip debauchery, the visor also comes equipped with USB and SD ports. Also, purely for safety reasons, the system includes a wireless remote, in case you're focusing on, ehem, driving.

Besides station wagons and 6am surprises, wood is determined as ever to improve your quality of life. From side paneling to backyards, Gadget Lab points to the Gizmodo gallery of wood. With USB sticks (literally) and iPod docking speakers, there's a port for everyone's wood to be inside. Other notables include the wooden digital clock that boasts deception with its well hidden controls and illuminated time display, as well as the wooden iPod, though it may be difficult to upgrade it from its current non-geek-chic 3rd generation stature.

So, I feel like the slow kid on the playground because I seem to be tagged rather easily in the "meme" games of blogcrapular tag. Blog tag is a crafty whore, for if you don't accept, you're an asshole, and if you do, you instantly receive negative points for wasting everyone's RSS time. I previously discussed the absurdity here. Anyway, the word on the hop-scotch-lined-streets is to list the "5 reasons why I blog", as originally tagged by Jeremy. Since I'm wasting your time, I'll spare you the rainbows-and-dafodils-blogosphere versions that probably most are using.

1. Because I read 200-600 blogs a day on average already for work
2. I now have an excuse for shit-talking ("Blogging is all about transparency, and you're just transparently an asshole")
3. You can only read so many Scoble blogging-blunders until you completely lose it
4. It's like I'm the only girl at a comic book convention
5. I needed another reason to make my coworkers give me weird looks

So, instead of tagging 5 unassuming bloggers, we're going to do this backwards. The first 5 bloggers that actually want (why, oh why, would you?) to be tagged, let me know, and I'll throw your link up here, and you can act all cool to your schoolmates about it.

Tagged so far: //engtech

What is it with the current obsession to pay tribute to gadgets with cakes? Perhaps cake and technology is just as delicious as sex and technology. Though, combining all three could provide quite the treat (precarious body placements for "icing iPod buttons" could get some overly excited). As our gadgets progress to make our lives simpler, they certainly are becoming more difficult to bake and decorate. Not sure why someone would choose to bake an iPhone, though after looking through Engadget's 2006 birthday cake contest, full of Alienwares, robots, and smartphones, it shouldn't come as any surprise. In Japan, however, they apparently reverse this geek-cake-obsession, by decorating their phones like wedding cakes. For those geeks with culinary tendencies and icing fetishes, Engadget plans to hold another geek-cake contest this year.

Already making its rounds on the interweb, the parasitic network object, dubbed Wifi-Liberator, is gaining momentum. Currently in a 1.0 stage, the Wifi-Liberator takes advantage of pay-per-use wifi zones, by opening up one paying node to multiple other nodes for free internet usage.

"The project is presented as a challenge to existing corporate or "locked" private wireless nodes to encourage the proliferation of free networks and connectivity across the planet. ...the Wifi-Liberator critically examines the tensions between providers trying to profit from the increasingly minimal costs associated with setting up a public network and casual users who simply want to see the Internet transform into another "public utility" and become as ubiquitous and free as the air we breathe."

Currently, the Wifi-Liberator is only set up to work if the user shares their connection, as opposed to keeping it for themselves.

While the importance of being well educated in history is typically so we can learn from our mistakes, one museum is encouraging its visitors to repeat the past. The German Neanderthal Museum in Mettman recently opened its doors to pay tribute to 100,000 Years of Sex. The display includes ancient phalluses, the world's oldest condom (pictured), "raunchy" engravings, and stripped down Neanderthals. The exhibition also aims to discuss the different positions moral issues held over time, such as marriage, homosexuality, and pedophilia. Realizing the purely educational purposes of the exhibit, the museum is also accepting contributions, in the form of one-night-stands reproduction:

"Just to make sure humanity continues to propagate itself for the next 100,000 years, the museum offers "singles tours" around the exhibition as part of its program -- complete with complementary glass of red wine to help lower those inhibitions and let the erotica on offer take its course."

[via]

Refusing whipped cream, frilly toppings aren't the only thing that has these protestors steamed over Starbucks' $4 lattes. Laughing Squid caught the protest taking place in New York the other day. Apparently "Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping" invaded a local Starbucks to protest Starbucks opposition to Ethiopia's plan to trademark specialty coffee names. From the Rev's website:

"Let’s dance and exorcise some cash registers! Confront Starbucks for stealing the trademarks of Ethiopia’s ancient coffees, like Sidamo and Harar. Honor the destitute farmers by defeating the $4 latte!"

Hmm, something tells us that it'll take more than some "clever" crossing out of letters and logos to defeat the caramel coffee goodness.

A recent study in the UK found that 30% of men and 42.5% of women would consider answering the phone during sex. Even more shocking, 24% of women answered that they would give up sex before their mobile phone. Is British sex truly that anti-climatic? Perhaps this may come as no shocker to the UK, but these findings could potentially have irreversable effects on underage American girls everywhere, otherwise swooning for the Hugh-Grant-type-accents. It seems as though the Brits love for raunchy entertainment and advertising is just an outcry for their malnurished appetites.

While television and kids seem to hit it off as a match made in heaven, the process of learning how to flip past shows like Laguna Beach and American Idol, aren't. Thankfully, Hayeon Yoo developed the Origami TV Remote Control Interface, to help educate children on the wonders of changing the channel.

"The Origami TV Remote Control enables children to learn only the essential functions such as “Channel Selection” and “Volume Control” through a paper playing method. The prototype was developed from 1-week Electronics and 1-week Software workshop and a wireless sensor board and Max/MSP are used as main tools."

Structured similar to a "cootie catcher", you can now find out which cute boys at school like you in addition to channel surfing for Saturday morning cartoons.

Sorry, this is still making me laugh.

Feeling more fiesty for February? Before you bite your lip, these lovely luxuries are designed to sex up your partner or self:

• Bella Bella Boutique brings new reasons to email links with "(hint hint)" at the end [Styledash]

• "Luxury, design-forward pleasure objects" - C'mon, Valentine's Day is all about letting your loved one know how you feel, so just call it what it is - a sex toy for the dildo-intimidated [Josh Spear]

• You'll need a bath after being so dirty, the LED soapy love heart is the almost-perfect mate [Craft:]

Getting fabulous for February? It takes more than just being sweet. Kindness to craftiness and a dash of creativity will help you cozy up to your current or soon-to-be sweetheart:

• Cute to some, obnoxious to crowded New York sidewalks [Notcot]

• Mittens made for two, Smittens keep you close and cozy [Styledash]

• Put your unused CD cases to better use, making mix CDs for your crush is so last decade [Craft:]

(Image courtesy of the similarly dirty minded Hugh Macleod)

What: Kansas City Coffee Morning


When: Tomorrow, February 2, 2007 @ 7:30am (yes, you can come bitch about how early it is with us)

Where: JP's Wine Bar @ 1526 Walnut

Why: Russell Davies started it in London, which then spread to Key West, Eugene, Bangkok, Scandinavia, Chicago, Brighton, Sheffield, Bucharest, Portland, Dallas, Toronto, Kansas City, NYC, and Sydney. American Copywriter started it in KC.

Who: Me, you, and unspoken sexual tension. Just kidding about the last part, unless you aren't.

Any questions? We even have a FAQ page for it.

A new shower meant for sports-types-on-the-go lets users scrub away shame. Aptly named, Hot Jugz (I kid you not, I couldn't even come up with that one), the mobile shower makes you wonder 'who are the ad wizards who came up with that?'. How does it work? Glad you asked. You pump it 20 times to heat up the 'jugz'-o-water for 16 minutes of pleasure. This task is ergonomically designed, as it should come natural to most men. Unfortunately, most men complained of pumping and only lasting a minute.

In case you missed it on Make:, Agenda Inc., Engadget, Boing Boing, Pop Candy, Consumerist, or AdPulp, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (a highly recommended acquired taste of a cartoon) started a viral/guerilla campaign that truly climaxed yesterday. With 10 different locations over the past few weeks, the LED art of one of the characters flipping the bird required a bit of wiring around bridges and other structures. Bostonians, apparently having no sense of humor nor pop culture context, took it as a bomb threat however, and closed down major lines of traffic while they attempted to "detonate" the cartoon.

AdPulp claims that the agency behind the guerilla project, Interference Inc., are idiots - also pointing that their website has been pulled offline. Maybe so in their case, especially given the yellow-bellied-website-hiding, but overall I disagree. This has to be up there in one of the most successful viral campaigns around - perhaps on accident. Just think, if there was no bomb scare, would this be viral? If someone on the news didn't mention the Make: blog as a potential lead, would it have as much spread? During my time at VML, I've been involved in numerous pitches that specifically required a "budget for bail" due to what we were proposing. Even without budget, we've been given the go ahead for taking time off work in case of getting arrested. Hopefully Interference Inc. will grow some balls and realize that no matter how much negative publicity they get, they achieved viral success, which is a lot more than most others can claim.

Update:
AdRants commenters are going Chicken Little on this.

Update 2: You can now bid on a piece of advertising history

Update 3: The chumps (yes, to the disappointment of many, they're total chumps) hold a press conference - video on YouTube here

The new blogger to the Styledash team, Brigitte Dale, asks if Playboy should really be "the kind of company that should start selling women's cosmetics?". The answer is, of course, darling, who else. Who better than to give women everywhere those luscious dick-sucking-lips than the true experts? Accordingly, Playboy has launched Playboy Beauty, a line of cosmetics designed to fluff up flirtation. The Long Wear Eyeliner Pens are designed with an all day, "stay the night" formula, as the Shimmer Bricks powder helps give your face the healthy "afterglow". So, if you didn't get any the night before, at least Playboy knows how to fake it 'til you make it. Wonder if they have Melted Mascara and Freshly Fucked Hairspray lines?

Getting a fax from Western civilization (and perhaps a blog post or two from AdRants), a man attempts to put the "sex sells" claim to work. Apparently only getting half the memo, a man tried to sell fruit by the gender. Labeling some fruits as female and others as male, the vendor charged more for the male variety than the female. When asked, the vendor pleaded the 5th on describing the differences between the gendered fruit, and officials soon after shut it down. Banana jokes aside, the man was a quick study in advertising, already using sex and false claims to his benefit.

Korea is home to one of the most filthiest parks in the world. This is definitely not somplace to bring the little ones to play. You may not be washing up dirty jeans afterwards, but you might need to put your mind on spin cycle after visiting. The Love Land Sex Park features sexual sculptures from around the country created by starving-for-sex artists. Reportedly, the park serves as an attraction for honeymooners, though you have to ask if Korea is premarital-friendly, given the sights.