Please make sure your tray tables are in their full upright and locked positions

Perhaps as an outcry over TiVo-loving fast-forward-nazis, advertising finds more ways to infiltrate moments in life you can't fast forward. Unlike that crap Adam Sandler movie, you have no remote and you might have to take it up the ass if you get cocky. Yes, that's right, as if the white gloves of airport security weren't threatening enough, advertisers plan to place ads in the security trays. If the deal is agreed upon, advertisers would pay to supply trays to airports - apparently being dicked over in plane food was low on the advertising-supplied totem pole. Perhaps the adverts will take a hint and contextualize to the environment. A few humble product suggestions: foot odor spray, push-ups without underwires, swallow-tested-powder-approved condoms, and I still think Ziploc would make a killing if they made kiosks outside the security checkpoint (they can thank me later).